My family is modern family

13 Oct

The ‘Schooled’ episode from the latest season of Modern Family made me hug my folks while they were peacefully snoring. Do not hug sleeping people, it’s kinda awkward. Now my folks are not as cool as Phil & Claire who will buy their daughter a box of condoms, but they are cool enough to discuss how flavoured condoms are pointless. To which, I say, “How would I know?” To which they laugh and say, “Barobar aahe” (Correct)!

Never underestimate the strength of a family. My family is just me, father and mother. But, when it comes to the food, clothing, noise parameter, we match the house of 10, say 20, heck even 30. Chaos is what we love. Yap yapping is what the Borkars are known for.  Also, we sigh together every time we get a ‘Bore-kar’ taunt. We all have various reactions to the ‘bore-kar’ mock. Mom will say, “You mean to say Borekar, or the fruitwala bor-kar? I will roll my eyes and say, “how original!” While my dad would laugh and say, “Ok this joke was boring, wait for the next one.”

The Dunphys

The Dunphys

Ah, my family! Always loud and boisterous. Once we tried to introspect why we are such a noisy family, well that ended with a big fight where I blamed mom, mom blamed me and dad blamed us.  So we have just stopped and accepted that we love noise.  Each morning starts with Mom’s shrill “GET-UP-OR-ELSE-I-AM-SLAPPING-YOU”, every night ends with, “what are you going to wear to work tomorrow?” Now my mother is concerned about my wardrobe more than I do. I hate this. I HATE THIS. “Going for a date tomorrow? I think, you should wear that blue top.” No mom, I think I should go in my pyjama that is just about fine.  She disapproves all that I wear. Curses every time I buy dangling clothes. She tells me that’s the reason people don’t take me seriously.  She spews venom but is right all the time. She is right every friggin time.

I get over breakups because of my mom. Yes, I discuss my relationships with her which makes me uncool among my peers. I get, “how can you tell this to your mom?” all the time, but you know what screw you! She has to know. She just has to know. After a breakup, her “why only you get such retards?” calms me down. Her, “I told you so” keeps ringing in my head when I reach a dead-end. Her “jaasta udu nakos” keeps my feet to the ground. She is my worst critic. She is my rock of Gibraltar.

And now Dad.  I remember when a guy from my class came home for notes Dad would always ask, “match dekha kya? Kya solid batting kiya na Tendulkar ne?” If the guy gives the match report correctly, he is a “husshar mulga”. If not, he is ‘bindok’. What is bindok, you may ask. Well, it’s one of our many words that I don’t know how to explain. Hear us say those words. It’s hilarious. I used to take Dad for our ‘open house’ aka result day at school. I preferred Dad because Mom would eat me up for bad scores. On the other hand, Dad would try to pacify me with, “Your teacher has a moustache or the XYZ’s mom is SO FAT man!”

We have just one picture together.

We have just one picture together.

Dad is annoyingly funny. Annoying, I say because that man can’t stop joking ever. That’s the reason he has many friends. He knows an entire train compartment; his fellow passengers love him so much that he gets phone calls if he misses the train. Takes an hour to reach home from station because he has to inquire about Joshi’s new TV set and Patil’s aquarium. Watches movies before me. He still is 18, and will be 18 forever.

Modern family reminds me of my family. The gaffes and goof ups that makes us smile. Those bonds, that love which keeps us together. We belong to a modern family that accepts us for who we are. And mind you, only they accept us for who we really are.


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